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BK Blog Post
Posted by Kathy Caprino.
Kathy Caprino, M.A. is a nationally-recognized women’s work-life expert, executive and career coach, author, and speaker specializing in helping women gain empowerment and self-mastery to navigate successfully through major challenges.
In the professional world I’m immersed in – coaching and online personal and professional development services – I’m literally bombarded every day with “experts” who share what they believe is the one “right” way to proceed in life and in business. Today, we can tap into wisdom and advice from literally an unlimited number and array of sources: from world-renowned researchers and speakers, to multimillionaire entrepreneurs, to individuals channeling spiritual entities who share wisdom from another dimension.
After 10 years of immersing myself in learning everything I could get my hands on about personal development and career success, I’ve come to have my own, unique thoughts about the “right” way to go about building success and happiness, and here’s my take:
There is no one “right” way to build happiness and success. Period. Further, if the advice you’re getting puts you down, makes you feel wrong or “less than” and inferior, and doesn’t accommodate your particular worldview and how you experience the world, then it’s not the right advice for you.
While I know this in my heart and soul, sometimes I still get stuck, and doubt myself. Just this month offered a hard example. In launching a new program for coaches, I’ve been following advice of some top social media marketing experts and finally, after some really hard knocks (stay tuned for more on that!), I realized that it’s just been feeling all wrong.
In this specific case, pushing out ads on various social media channels to try to get thousands of video viewers just wasn’t the right direction for me at this time. (I prefer authentically building — over time — an awesome tribe of like-minded individuals through my writing and programs, rather than paying for followers who end up not engaging). So, all the experts in the world can tell me that certain marketing strategies work – but for me, they just don’t feel right. And when they don’t feel right, they won’t work.
Here’s another example of the wrong kind of help – I just listened to a recording today of a renowned “expert” sharing her advice to a young woman asking for help, and sadly, the advice was presented as if it’s fact. That gets me really agitated. Often this type of advice – and how it’s presented — rubs me the wrong way, because it’s shared in such a “know-it-all” way that I can’t even listen to the full content of a 3-minute video. Further, when I sense that the receiver of the advice is somehow feeling put down and shamed for what’s she’s struggling when, then I get really mad.
I’d like to offer this question to you – is the advice you’re getting aligned with how you see the world, and what feels right to you? Or does it feel wrong? The wrong kind of advice makes you feel bad about yourself, and uncomfortable about what you know and who you are.
What’s the “right” kind of help?
The “right” kind of help acknowledges that you are unique, amazing, gifted and smart in many ways. That you are special and have wonderful talents to share with the world, and the world needs your gifts. The right kind of help validates the way you see the world. You’re not “wrong” – you’re just you.
Yes, undoubtedly, there are important ways to shift your thinking and behavior that will support you to achieve your highest dreams in a quicker, more efficient way. (That’s the work I help professionals do.) But those are just “shifts” – not enormous, wholesale changes to your core being and your spirit.
Here are six ways to know if the advice you’re receiving is something that you should NOT be following:
You can spot the wrong kind of advice when:
On the other hand, what does empowering, motivating and effective support look like:? It::
In the end, take in and embrace what feels right to you deep down. Let everything else go.
Have you been struggling with deciding whether to follow the advice you’re getting? What are your challenges right now around this?
The post Are You Wrong (and Foolish) If You Don’t Follow The Advice of Renowned Experts In Your Field? appeared first on Kathy Caprino.