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BK Blog Post
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. –Caribbean poet and playwright Derek Walcott
There are so many love stories to live and write. Every good story, at its core, holds a love story. I hope for each of us that we experience this love in all the flavors and forms it wants to take in our lives.
Anger and resentment can be qualities to include in the description of our antagonist (in our fiction or real life). But to write from a place of anger and resentment will ultimately turn off readers. I worked with a woman who was writing an entire manuscript on how her boyfriend of 10 years cheated on her. Her writing was decent but quickly bored me. It was a rant about how not to be duped (and she was convinced that every woman would be). She not only wanted the reader to understand her but to agree with her. However, in writing and life, understanding doesn't necessarily translate into agreement. She ended up firing me as her Writing Sherpa since I did not agree with her and she took this as yet another person not understanding her.
I invite us to find the love story at the core of why we write and what we are writing about. (No matter what the subject and theme.) Look to your favorite authors, writers and poets. Where is the love in their work and message?
One of my earlier spiritual teachers often repeated: "You can't heal in isolation." We can't love (or write well) in isolation either. To love ourselves, or another, we must find ourselves in the center of a full and peopled life. We must heal the inner divides, as Parker J Palmer invites us to do in his book A Hidden Wholeness, so that we can heal our outer divides. Be assured that this journey toward love and wholeness never ends, and that sometimes it is our yearnings and divisions that keep us in the story.
Me at Woman's March, Photo by Lydia Bear Ishmael
Photo by Lydia Bear Ishmael
Be warned, self-love can be seen by others as an act of defiance and selfishness (but do it anyway).
If you are not in love, or falling in love with your writing (or writer's life), then ask yourself these two questions. (I ask these every time I am writing on a piece):
What experience do I want to have while writing this piece?
What experience do I want my reader to have as they read this piece?
(So, where's the love?)
When Farmers Can’t Work The Field
When famers can’t work the field
They repair tools,
Mend the fractures in containers
talk to the land
beg her to be kind
pray for a bountiful harvest
A good rain
but who knows how this gap holds them.
When we can’t be together
It’s time to repair our hearts
Fill in the fractures while still letting in light
ask for the grace of recognition
beg for kindness
pray for bounty
A good friend
The climate inside rarely calm
all I know is this ache that
Until I see
the fields of your eyes. –Julie Tallard Johnson, 2016