CHAPTER ONE
Traversing the Great Divide
TAKE A SELF-ASSESSMENT & EXPLORE THE RESULTS
Dream in a pragmatic way.
—ALDOUS HUXLEY
The ubiquitous snowflake . An astounding meteorological phenomenon that floats, rather than plummets, toward earth. Featuring spectacularly nuanced patterns, snowflakes are luminous, delicate, and ethereal. Or that’s how some would describe them. Others assess the very same mode of precipitation as fleeting, fragile, and frail.
Enter the cactus . Representative of an entirely divergent climate, cacti are sturdy, hardy, and resilient. Indisputably prickly, cacti epitomize a tough exterior. Uninterested in kumbaya, they prefer we keep our distance. To some this toughness is admirable. Others find it hurtful.
Human Snowflakes are wont to wonder Why?? Why am I a Snowflake? Such pondering does not plague Cacti. They merely go about their business.
There are challenges to surviving both the wintry tundra and the blazing desert. Ahead, we’ll take tours of each, including what happens when the two cross paths. For we are surrounded by a random assortment of each style, resulting in a Cauldron of Confusion. And very few of us wear signage designating the nature of our preferences.
As we proceed, I’ll share my dual intentions. Snowflakes, no feelings will be bruised. And Cacti, no time will be wasted.
A MATTER OF DEGREE
If we were all either pure Snowflake or pure Cactus, life would be a lot simpler. Not to mention, this book would be a lot shorter. You could start ripping out entire chapters! Slow down, speedster. As hinted at previously, there are not two cut-and-dried versions of disposition. Most people identify with Snowflake over Cactus, or vice versa, sometimes quite strongly. Everyone has at least smidgens of both primary styles. Plus, we stir into the mix all kinds of additional temperament components. It’s a veritable potpourri of personalities!
There are degrees. Our natural nuances exist along a continuum. Envision an invisible silky thread traversing the terrain between desert and ice caps. It doesn’t have to be silky, simply makes it more pleasant to wind around your wrist.
At one end stand a group of Cacti, tapping their feet, waiting for you to get on with it.
The other end is populated by a cluster of Snowflakes, politely introducing themselves to each other. These two groups represent those with strong preferences for one side or the other. There are also individuals a bit removed from these far ends, others edging toward the center with moderate preferences, and some very close to the middle, with slight preferences.
POP QUIZ!
The Quest for Correlations
Check yes or no to each of the following. Does a Cactus or Snowflake designation sync with:
TRAIT |
YES! |
NO! |
CORRECT RESPONSE |
Confidence |
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Creativity |
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Determination |
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Fastidiousness |
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Independence |
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Intellect |
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Leadership Acuity |
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Organization |
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Resilience |
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Sense of Direction |
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How’d you do? The upshot is that none of the listed traits are determined by whether one is a Snowflake or Cactus. The Snowflake/Cactus spectrum is a single aspect of our complex dispositions. Nevertheless, the implications are far-reaching, intertwined with how we experience life. It doesn’t get more fundamental than that.
I call those with the strongest identification on either end off-the-charters. Those approaching the middle of our glistening thread present notably differently than their more extreme brethren.
While bearing in mind variations, this illustrious volume highlights the far ends of our continuum. This enables my gentle readers to best understand distinguishing factors of each style. We’ll garner insights by focusing on these defining traits.
Tipping it another way, grasping the foundation enables attunement to more subtle distinctions.
WHO ARE YOU?
First things first. Let’s discover where you land in all this.
You may get a kick out of taking the upcoming self-assessment featured in this chapter. After all, few things are more thrilling than yourself. Alternatively, the assessment may get on your last nerve. How dare I reduce your explosive personality into a handful of questions?
Either way, I will now commence to peer-pressure you into devoting a few moments to completing the survey. You’ll be glad you did for the rest of this book and beyond.
There are no right or wrong responses and no good or bad results.
Assessment Instructions
Welcome to your very own personal style survey. Hereby dubbed the Cacflake Instrument. Free with purchase (shipping and handling $6.99).
Each numbered item offers two options to complete a sentence. This system enables you to indicate how strongly you identify with each option. Consider the degree to which the choices resonate. For each sentence pair, point distributions are 3 and 0 or 2 and 1.
If you agree entirely with A and not at all with B, assign A=3 and B=0. If you agree somewhat with A, yet more with B, assign A=1 and B=2.
Respond based on your natural point of view, not aspirations or adaptive behavior. If you engage differently at work and at home, answer as you are at home, in your natural habitat.
While there are three points to distribute for each sentence pair, half-points such as 1.5 are banned, under all circumstances! I run a tight ship.
The Cacflake Instrument:
Cactus & Snowflake Self-Assessment
1. |
I deem a day well spent when |
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a. I plow through my to-do list. |
_____ |
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b. I make someone’s day with a kind act. |
_____ |
2. |
If I am quite sure our paths will never cross again |
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a. I don’t particularly care if you like me or not. |
_____ |
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b. I still aim for a positive, uplifting exchange. |
_____ |
3. |
I collaborate best with someone |
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a. With whom I feel a rapport and connection. |
_____ |
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b. Who is straightforward and knowledgeable. |
_____ |
4. |
I am |
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a. Diplomatic. |
_____ |
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b. Direct. |
_____ |
5. |
I take pride in |
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a. My intellect and skills. |
_____ |
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b. My ability to notice subtle shifts in mood. |
_____ |
6. |
I consider myself to be |
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a. A person who leads with my heart. |
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b. A person who leads with my head. |
_____ |
7. |
Members of a well-functioning team |
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a. Feel safe and respected. |
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b. Have clearly defined protocol. |
_____ |
8. |
An admirable leader has |
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a. Proven credibility. |
_____ |
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b. Genuine concern. |
_____ |
9. |
I aspire to have |
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a. A meaningful impact on others. |
_____ |
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b. A notable impact on the bottom line. |
_____ |
10. |
Leading through challenge requires |
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a. Scrutiny and objectivity. |
_____ |
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b. Empathy and compassion. |
_____ |
11. |
To establish common ground with others |
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a. I rely upon reason. |
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b. I rely upon compassion. |
_____ |
12. |
If I must give bad news |
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a. I provide relevant data. |
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b. I soften the blow. |
_____ |
13. |
I would describe myself as |
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a. Appreciative. |
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b. Analytical. |
_____ |
14. |
When making important decisions, I want to be |
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a. Fair and logical. |
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b. Sensitive and perceptive. |
_____ |
15. |
I value |
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a. Harmony and acceptance. |
_____ |
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b. Accuracy and impartiality. |
_____ |
The Cacflake Instrument:
Self-Assessment Scorecard
Be alert! These columns contain both A’s and B’s.
1 |
A = |
B = |
2 |
A = |
B = |
3 |
B = |
A = |
4 |
B = |
A = |
5 |
A = |
B = |
6 |
B = |
A = |
7 |
B = |
A = |
8 |
A = |
B = |
9 |
B = |
A = |
10 |
A = |
B = |
11 |
A = |
B = |
12 |
A = |
B = |
13 |
B = |
A = |
14 |
A = |
B = |
15 |
B = |
A = |
Totals (45) |
Cactus = |
Snowflake = |
Strong Preference: 39–45
Moderate Preference: 29–38
Slight Preference: 23–28
Congratulations! You put the pedal to the metal and completed your assessment.
We will now dig into your Cacflake Instrument results.
Strength of Preference
You have two pieces of data to analyze—your primary style identification and the numerical strength of your preference. I suppose that summation is Cacti-centric. Here’s an alternate for Snowflakes: Now you can commence an exploration of your unique inclinations.
Spoiler alert! A strong preference does not indicate you have a stronger character than others, and a slight preference does not indicate any type of deficiency. This terminology is merely shorthand personality lingo, referencing placement on that recently discussed silky thread.
If your results total 42 or higher on either column, we can safely call you off-the-chart. You have a robust affinity for your dominant style.
If your results are 25 or lower for your dominant style, your results indicate you nearly split attributes of both types. No need to seek treatment; this is not indicative of a muddled mind.
Nor does it correlate with being wishy-washy or weak. I’d need to see you bench-press to determine the latter. Drop and give me twenty. (I do understand push-ups are not bench-presses.)
For your edification, following are summaries of strong, moderate, and slight preferences on each side of the spectrum.
Strong Preference for Snowflake
Land here? You have strong identification with virtually all the cornerstone Snowflake descriptors. Harmony, acceptance, and higher purpose are all intrinsic to your well-being. You seek meaning in daily tasks and encounters. Your inner circle will report that you also attribute symbolism to experiences that others breeze past. Acutely sensitive to conflict, feelings reign supreme. You care deeply about forging community and positive relationships. Perceived slights weigh heavily in your mind, and—if you were the inadvertent perpetrator—on your conscience.
Irrespective of a full schedule, you find time to help those in need. Heartfelt praise flows freely. In turn, you crave appreciation and revel in acknowledgment of your own contributions.
Moderate Preference for Snowflake
While a Snowflake, you identify with certain Cactus characteristics. You lead with your heart yet simultaneously seek a balance between values and practicality. Feelings outweigh logic in most matters. You strive to ensure decisions both make sense and buoy positive relationships.
You’re a caring individual who moderates discussions by taking into account overarching constructs. Productivity and meaning combine to make you thrive.
Slight Preference for Snowflake or Cactus
Your assessment results indicate you identify with a combination of characteristics. You represent a near-even split between Cactus and Snowflake tendencies. We can deem you a Snowcactus. Or Cactusflake. Or whatever you suggest.
You can relate to a range of personalities with minimal effort. Your innate understanding of those who are both sentimental and hard-hitting leads to a natural ability to establish rapport. You have a propensity to bring people together, find common ground, and successfully facilitate challenging situations. Your gifts extend to coalition building and conflict mediation. Others can learn these skills, yet they come more naturally to you.
Moderate Preference for Cactus
You identify with many of the Cactus descriptors. You lead with your head and value being practical and fair. You understand some people are more focused on “touchy-feely” relationship-building. Competence is of supreme importance. When making decisions, you aim for fairness.
While giving positive reinforcement is draining, you make a conscious effort to do so, as it tends to up productivity. You place more value on telling the truth about what’s really going on than being harmonious.
Strong Preference for Cactus
You identify with nearly all of the characteristics corresponding with the Cactus. Prickly is your middle name, and you’re good with that. You are strong-willed and consider yourself a straight shooter—a badge of honor. It confounds you why folks don’t leave their feelings at the door when entering a place of work—or anywhere, really. You’re the first to admit a low tolerance for people who take things personally, particularly in a professional setting.
Praise from you is hard-won, as you believe people are paid to do their jobs correctly. You tell it like it is, providing direct feedback. You excel at analyzing situations and base decisions on logic.
Typical Response Patterns
1. “Wow. That’s incredible! Devora is a mystic!”
Because . . . the results convincingly align with self-perception.
This is likely the case when:
You strongly identify with one side of the spectrum.
and/or
You have previous knowledge about this facet of personality.
2. “Interesting. I can see how this makes sense.”
Because . . . the results more or less correlate with expectations.
This is typically when:
The results primarily align with self-perception.
and/or
You have a moderate preference on this spectrum.
3. “Kinda. But couldn’t any result be interpreted as accurate?”
Because . . . you’re close to the middle, one toe on the hot sand, the other atop an icicle.
This is often when:
You considered learned behaviors rather than inner preferences/temperament.
and/or
You responded conceptually, according to traits you aspire to and admire.
4. “This doesn’t describe me.”
Because . . . upon reviewing the results they appear inaccurate.
This can be due to:
Inhabiting an environment infused with many on the far end of your own disposition. Amid a plethora of strong Cacti, a slight Cactus may identify as a Snowflake in contrast.
and/or
A miscalculated score. This happens at times when transcribing your responses to the scorecard, as the A’s and B’s are not all in the same columns. This occupational hazard is outweighed by making it more difficult to “game” the system.
As is now evident, specific placement on the spectrum adds nuance to one’s distinguishing qualities.
Gender and Temperament
You may be wondering whether gender correlates with temperament. Not necessarily, yet there is potential for stereotyping.
This risk is due in part to careless generalizations. There’s a temptation to categorize Cactus traits as male and Snowflake characteristics as female. Furthermore, there is a statistical foundation for a degree of gender bias. Recent data is as follows:
Gender Data from U.S. Supplement to 2018 MBTI Manual (pp. 5–6)
MALE |
FEMALE |
Cactus (T)—68% |
Cactus (T)—38% |
Snowflake (F)—32% |
Snowflake (F)—62% |
Note: The MBTI Manual references Cactus as “Thinker (T)” and Snowflake as “Feeler (F).”
An uneven distribution on both sides of the spectrum is evident. However, there remain approximately one-third of individuals who identify with the opposite of stereotypical gender temperaments. There’s a danger to classifying Cacti and Snowflakes as male and female driven types. Watch out for this tendency, potentially even within yourself.