1 GENEROUS LEADERSHIP, DEFINED

Leaders have always been celebrated for the results they deliver. But what results? For many years they were single focused: in the business world, shareholder returns; in the government, growth; in the nonprofit space, funds raised—all done, of course, while delivering the organization’s mission.

What were the actions and traits called out that delivered those results? Being number one, two, or three in your sector. High-quality products or services, absolutely meeting customers’ needs. Highly efficient operations. But also cutthroat focus on delivering that efficiency. Staffing an organization that dutifully drove to the desired results. (How many white shirts and dark-blue suits did one see on the streets of our major business centers?) A leadership-centric, almost selfish, behavior from the boss.

The often-cited heroes of business drove the numbers, led from the top, built command-and-control organizations, let metrics and statistics drive nearly all decisions, made tough calls with a single lens: dollar profit. An almost impersonal, cutthroat “tough leader” somewhere along the way became synonymous with effective and “great.” Aspiring leaders sought to build themselves in this image.

There have, of course, been many great leaders across time, those who were deeply admired and respected for taking a broad view of their mandate, who focused on the numbers but also cared deeply for their people and were concerned about their company’s impact on the community. They existed, but this type of generous leader, who saw “their people” as humans, who led with care and compassion, who put their heart in the front of their leadership, was rarely visible. More to the point, this broad view of leadership was not in fashion, received less attention and fewer accolades, and as a result was not considered a model for success.

I want to be very clear that I am not defining the generous leader as one who offers their employees an incredible pay package. As I have said, this kind of generosity is not about remuneration.

However, when you are invested in another person’s well-being, you work hard to help them develop professionally. In Chapter 6, Recognition and Feedback: Generous Development, you will learn specifically how to do this in a pointed but also beneficial way. This development can and often does lead to promotion and career advancement, and therefore a possible indirect result of your generous leadership is, in fact, about the money. That is the generative result of generously devoting your time and attention to another person’s professional growth.

As I noted in the introduction, there has been a change afoot, which has accelerated in recent years. Expectations of a great leader have evolved.

Fran Katsoudas, EVP and chief people, policy, and purpose officer of Cisco, shared with me how, early in her career, she had received feedback warning her to avoid being too caring or compassionate. Someone actually pulled her aside and said she needed to develop more of a killer instinct. “Do not care as much,” she was told. “You will do well if you put some of that away.” But she knew that expectations would be changing, and she took a different approach.

I didn’t follow that advice because it wasn’t authentic to me. In the end, the approach didn’t work well for the leader, and it wouldn’t work well for leaders today either. I will make tough decisions, engage with intense issues, and ask how fast we can move, but I will always strive to do so with respect and caring.

A clear shift has been underway in the workplace. Empathy is needed more at this moment than any other time.

This change did not, of course, happen overnight. As Fran said, it has been evolving. As the demands on each of us have changed, so too have our expectations of our work life, and our leaders. Our work and life hours, and locations, have blurred so much that, for most, you cannot be one person “at work” (as unsatisfying as even that may have been) and then a more human you “at home.” You want to feel as human, as seen, as fulfilled in your now ever-on work life as you had striven to be outside work.

In addition, the pressures and anxieties of our ever-complicating world, made much more immediate by social media, result in new expectations of leaders. Yes, they must represent their organization, and they must deliver results. But today there is an imperative to do more: to generously give of themselves to nurture and inspire all people within the organization, and to contribute to the greater community.

Generous is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as willing to give help, kindness, etc., especially more than is usual or expected. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of giving this help without thought of benefit to oneself, and doing it with the reflexivity it requires, which is how I interpret this definition. It also calls to mind the lately overused word authentic, and I do believe that the essence of the giver must be completely authentic in order for these acts to be interpreted as intended, as truly generous.

As is often attributed to Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Much of the work in this book, as we talk through the potential challenges you may face, will be developing self-awareness and your own skills to do this instinctively and without reservation. It is not just the giving of oneself; it is also about doing it without hesitation. It is about the excellence that comes with habit. It is a big ask. It takes practice for it to become a habit.

For example, as I write this in June 2023, the airline industry just had a horrible week of flight cancellations driven by severe weather and an antiquated and short-staffed US aviation oversight system. Scott Kirby, United Airlines CEO, came out at the end of the week in an all-staff email to say, “I want to say thank-you for the incredible work,” and tell the team, “I want you to know that I’m proud of you.” You may think, OK, thanking the team after a hard week, so what? But Scott makes it a daily practice, and there are countless examples.

Connect deeply and personally with your colleagues. Show humility, be genuine and caring. Listen to others, truly aiming to understand their perspectives and to uncover from them what you do not know. Find opportunities to learn from them. Really see your people and make them feel seen. Recognize their contributions, leverage their strengths for their own advancement, and push them, honestly and directly, to be more than they believed possible. By infusing your heart, and your humanity, into your leadership style, you will become a more generous leader, and the people you manage will become free to perform at their best. The ultimate outcome will be more effective contributions from all to your organization’s purpose and mission.