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Why Do We Have to Talk about That at Work?

When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.

PETER BROMBERG

Why in the world would we want to encourage employees to talk about polarizing topics in the workplace? We come to work to make products and provide services for our customers, members, and/or clients—not to talk about social issues. Topics such as race, politics, and religion are inappropriate and should be discouraged. Perhaps this is how you feel. For generations, this has been the prevailing sentiment for many organizations and corporate environments. However, there are compelling reasons why a position of avoidance is no longer the best policy.

The most persuasive reason for building the skills necessary for Bold, Inclusive Conversations at work is that in this ever-increasingly polarized sociopolitical climate, they are already being talked about—a lot! Social media is a huge factor in the increased visibility of and exposure to current issues. And most of us lack the skills to have effective dialogue.

The goal of this book is to help you make the conversations that are already happening more productive, supportive, and inclusive, leaving people feeling whole and ultimately resulting in better teamwork, productivity, engagement, and overall well-being.

A POLARIZED SOCIETY LEADS TO A POLARIZED WORKPLACE

As the workforce becomes more diverse, there are more people from different racial/ethnic groups, religious affiliations, political affiliations, generations, sexual orientations, gender identities, and disability statuses who may be facing very different realities than ever before. We are living in times of heightened social conflict around race, religion, and politics. The last few years have been filled with instances of police violence, mass shootings, immigration debates, reproductive rights debates, religious intolerance against Muslims and Jews, heightened attacks on the transgender community, domestic and international terrorism, and extreme political divisions, making it impossible for many not to bring strong emotions about these issues into the workplace.

Social scientists contend that the more we feel threatened, the greater our tendency to be polarized.⁵ We’ve found that many people feel that their way of life is being threatened by terrorism, demographic shifts, and new technology. When people are fearful, the gut level response is to blame other groups for their plight. With so many complex issues facing society today, we see more polarization than ever before. We find ourselves in the throes of cultural wars on many fronts. Consider these realities:

♦ The murder of George Floyd in 2020 sparked new and more serious discussions about racism in this country. The Black Lives Matter movement gained strength and also intense backlash. Workplace discussions about race and racism became more commonplace, albeit not without difficulty. It is not clear that we have made significant progress in effectively talking about race in the workplace. We continue to hear “we are not ready for that” or “it just makes us too uncomfortable.”

♦ Race-based affirmative action in higher education was struck down by a 6–3 Supreme Court decision in 2023⁶ and soon after conservative groups began to attack race-focused diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts in the corporate world. Conservatives have weaponized the term woke, meant to convey an awareness of societal inequities. Instead, they promote an “anti-woke” agenda where any efforts designed to correct inequities (e.g., transgender rights, reproductive health care rights, racial discrimination) is deemed harmful to society. Workplace conversations are critical to clarify and reinforce the commitment to inclusive policies and practices.

♦ Numerous mass shootings, many in schools and some in workplaces, continue to intensify calls for more gun control, mostly to no avail. Parents fear for their children’s safety and workers fear for theirs in the workplace. This obviously political issue has polarized the United States. Workplace discussions are important to understand and clarify policies and practices that ensure worker safety, both physically and emotionally.

♦ The world was hit by a global pandemic (COVID-19) in 2020 that put us on lockdown for months, killed hundreds of thousands of people, and left others suffering physically and emotionally as it disrupted any sense of normalcy in almost every aspect of our lives. Even the pandemic was fraught with extreme polarization. There were diametrically opposed views about the utility of wearing masks or receiving vaccines as preventive measures. “Anti-vaxxers” engaged in sometimes violent attacks on people wearing masks and advocating for vaccinations. Because of the widespread belief that the virus originated in a lab in China, anti-Asian hate crimes increased 339 percent in 2021 according to the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism.⁷

♦ The pandemic had a major impact on the workplace when in-person work moved to virtual arrangements. As the threat of the virus subsided, we saw a dramatic increase in hybrid work environments where workers alternated between in-person and at-home settings. These new and unfamiliar working arrangements call for new ways to effectively communicate. How can we best share feelings in a virtual space? Are historically marginalized groups at more of a disadvantage in virtual workspaces?

♦ Political polarization has become so severe that many of us sat shocked as we watched the 2021 takeover of the US Capitol by Donald Trump supporters who erroneously believed that the election was “stolen” by Joe Biden. We were in a team meeting at The Winters Group when the insurrection took place. It was triggering for many to watch, to the point of needing to take some time away for our emotional well-being. It also led to the need for group support and processing. We feel sure that ours was not the only workplace that needed to talk about this unprecedented and disturbing event.

♦ In 2022, antisemitism increased 36 percent, the highest level since 1979, with the number of antisemitic incidents rising 500 percent over the last decade.⁸

♦ When the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in 2022, many organizations scrambled to provide their employees with alternatives, such as paying for them to travel to abortion-friendly states.⁹

♦ A number of states have put in place anti-transgender legislation to deny gender-affirming health care and prohibit trans women and girls from participating in school sports. In 2023 49 states proposed at least 566 anti-transgender bills, and 80 passed while 128 failed.¹⁰

♦ A wave of so-called anti-woke bills call for banning books in schools and libraries on slavery, race, racism, and feminism as well as banning terms like critical race theory and even words like diversity, equity, and inclusion in workplace training. Since 2021, at least 44 states have introduced bills or taken other steps to restrict the teaching of what they deemed to be critical race theory.¹¹

♦ Hate crimes against all marginalized groups have reached an all-time high, increasing by 11.6 percent in 2021 according to the FBI. Fifty-six percent of these crimes are perpetuated against Black people.¹²

♦ We are witnessing polarized views on what constitutes our First Amendment rights. What does freedom of speech mean? Will you face retribution for speaking up about issues you care about? In 2023 two Black legislators from Tennessee were expelled from the legislature for joining a protest of high school students advocating for gun control after a mass shooting at a Catholic elementary school where three students and three staff members were killed. In a call for justice, both were later reinstated.¹³ These are just a few examples of why we need to develop the skills for Bold, Inclusive Conversations.

POLARIZATION THWARTS INCLUSION; INCLUSION DRIVES ENGAGEMENT

Polarization thwarts attempts for inclusion. Polarization is the opposite of inclusion. Polarization fosters an “us-and-them” environment, whereas inclusion attempts to create a sense of belonging and unity. Most major organizations today have a goal to create an inclusive culture because they realize that inclusion drives engagement. As reported in a Gallup study, inclusion and engagement are highly correlated: The most engaged employees rated their company high on diversity and inclusion. The least engaged employees rated their company very low on the questions related to diversity and inclusion.¹⁴ The Winters Group conducted a survey with a large financial institution that showed similar results. Inclusion was the highest correlated factor for engagement. Another study conducted in 2023 by The Winters Group among twenty of our clients showed that job satisfaction was highly correlated to perceptions of racial justice in the workplace.

According to a study by Catalyst that surveyed Australian workers, employees who experienced psychological safety felt that they could freely speak up about problems and tough issues.¹⁵ Our perception of psychological safety is based on a belief about the organization’s norms or culture. The same study identified four leadership characteristics—accountability, courage, humility, and empowerment—that enable psychological safety across race, gender, and other demographic variables. We speak to courage and cultural humility in Chapter 2.

THE IMPACT OF SOCIAL MEDIA ON POLARIZATION

Social media outlets exacerbate the increase in polarization. Instantaneous access to breaking news and opinions via tools such as X (formerly Twitter), Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and others has magnified opportunities to engage in contentious conversation and debate. People routinely use their smartphones to record all sorts of events that go viral for the whole world to see and comment on.

The proliferation of “fake news” contributes to increasing polarization around political issues. Since the 2016 US election, we have seen an increase in how social media fuels polarization through the spread of misinformation and disinformation. Both are defined as false information; however disinformation is spread with intent to mislead or deceive people.

Disinformation has become so prevalent that more than 90 percent of journalists surveyed by the writers advocacy group PEN America¹⁶ said they have had to change their practices, including spending more time debunking disinformation and communicating their efforts to be transparent in their reporting methods.

Before social media, we weren’t as likely to be bombarded with polarizing topics such as race, religion, and politics unless we were news junkies. In the workplace, it is easy, even if against company policy, to have ongoing access to social media on our smart devices. As a result, many people constantly debate and share their opinions and beliefs on social media; and to the extent that they are virtually connected to coworkers, these conversations take place at work, or in a workplace context. Social media makes it very easy to know the beliefs and opinions of our coworkers.

The more that an individual’s personal beliefs are repeated (i.e., go viral), the more they become accepted as fact. Paradoxically, the more an individual’s or a group’s beliefs are challenged, the more that person or group believes them. When beliefs are challenged, the human tendency is to become more obstinate and determined to defend the opinion. Any attention to the belief or opinion, positive or negative, acts as fuel for the fire.

Social media platforms can keep our emotions in high gear. We tell our social media followers and connections what we like and what we don’t like. When we disagree, we continue to post more rationale for our own position, and they, in turn, post more for their position, increasing the polarization. In the extreme, when a connection posts something we don’t like, we can block them. In other words, we can stay firmly rooted in our own beliefs, totally rejecting another’s viewpoint. We take an “I don’t want to hear it” attitude and, in some cases, an “I don’t like you anymore” stance. We are often unable to separate the person from their position. We discuss the need to separate the person from the position in Chapter 3.

Many people today are addicted to social media. Social and behavioral scientists are busy studying the psychological ramifications of this phenomenon. Many people have shared with us that by disconnecting from social media they feel less stressed. Some, who have not done so, bring these intense emotions and associated anxiety with them to work. And they do not stop communicating on polarizing issues just because they are at work.

THE IMPACT ON EMPLOYEES, IN THEIR OWN WORDS

The Winters Group creates space for open dialogue for a variety of different clients, supporting them in effectively addressing the aftermath of recent traumatic events and the polarized views that seem to always come with them. The sessions open with the prompt “Describe how you are feeling in one word.” The responses range from depressed, despondent, frustrated, angry, helpless, and hopeless to encouraged, energized, hopeful, and optimistic. However, the majority of the emotions are negative.

Psychologists believe that the recurrence of unfortunate events intensifies our feelings of stress and trauma. The more we see images of police shootings, terrorist attacks, and other acts of violence, the more we are likely to experience effects likened to post-traumatic stress syndrome. Individuals who are most impacted by these events—for instance, Black men fearful that they will be wrongly targeted by police, Muslim women in hijabs afraid they will be subject to bullying or worse, transgender employees afraid to use the bathroom that corresponds to their gender identity—are likely distracted at work. This impacts engagement and productivity.

The Winters Group has conducted several public, free virtual learning webinars to address some of these issues. One was called Race & Workplace Trauma during the Age of #BlackLivesMatter. More than 250 people attended. Another, called Let the Healing Begin: Restoring Our Quest for Inclusion, occurred immediately following the 2016 presidential election. Over 600 people registered for this 90-minute session. We polled participants during both sessions to explore the extent to which these events impacted their productivity at work. More than 60 percent admitted that there was either a “great deal” or “somewhat” of an impact.

Participants shared the following perspectives during these sessions:

“I came to work the day after the Philando Castile killing and I said to my boss that I was pretty upset, and I got nothing, not even an acknowledgment. This really shook me up and now I don’t know if I can really trust her.”

—African American male at large consulting company
(We heard similar sentiments from several others from different companies.)

“I am Muslim, gay, and from the Middle East. That is three strikes against me. When I am waiting for the train at the metro station I don’t stand near the edge because I am afraid someone might push me in. I bring that fear to work with me every day. It does impact my ability to concentrate and do my best work.”

—male employee at a not-for-profit research organization

“I was at work and got a call from my child at school. He was terrified because the kids were telling him that he was going to be deported. I felt a need to leave and go and get him. My boss understood.”

—Latine employee at a large service organization

“Our company sent out a statement after the Pulse Night Club shooting but said nothing about the killings of unarmed Black men. Why does one group deserve acknowledgment and sympathy and our group [African Americans] does not?”

—African American employee at a large consulting firm
(We have heard similar statements from African Americans at several different companies.)

“I have not been affected by these events at all. I could not have imagined the impact that it is having on you. It is shocking to me that you are fearful based on who you are.”

—white senior leader in a not-for-profit research organization

“I work from home. I am isolated. I don’t know what the sentiment is at the company really. I just know that my ability to stay focused on work has been impacted. I did look for a message from leadership. I think it would have helped.”

—African American woman at a large consulting firm

“One of my coworkers was literally gloating after Donald Trump won the presidential election. I don’t mind showing happiness that your candidate won, but the tone was like, ‘See, now you people will have to know your place again.’”

—African American woman at a government agency

“As a Muslim doctor, I have patients who ask for a different physician because they do not want to be seen by a Muslim. I have colleagues who are visiting nurses, who have doors shut in their faces when they arrive for home health care services because of the color of their skin. We have to talk about these issues in the workplace.”

—Muslim doctor at a large health care organization

“I am the only person of Middle Eastern descent on my team. I overhear conversations about terrorists, but they never discuss that with me. As a matter of fact, I think they purposefully avoid such conversations around me. It makes me feel isolated. I don’t really feel like I am a part of the team.”

—Muslim engineer at a large technology company

However, incidences of unequal treatment that impact historically marginalized groups are certainly not new.

More than a decade ago, I (Mary-Frances) was conducting a diversity strategy session for a large insurance company in the Midwest. It was a three-day event composed of senior leaders charged with developing the company’s inclusion strategy. On the second day, one of the African American male participants arrived a few minutes late, visibly distracted. Later, I learned that police had stopped him on his way to the session, which we had held at a venue in a highincome part of town. No infraction had occurred. The police officer had asked to see his license and wanted to know his destination. The officer then asked where he lived, where he worked, and what brought him to that area.

The African American executive found this incident extremely disturbing. He did not want to share the details publicly with the rest of the group, even though it was a diversity session, because his organization, in his estimation, was not ready to really deal with such issues. He admitted to me that he had difficulty continuing to engage in the session.

How many people bring similar stresses with them to work as a result of being targeted just because of what they look like? How many feel that they must suffer in silence?

COMPANY SILENCE TRANSLATES INTO “YOU DON’T CARE”

During The Winters Group’s virtual learning sessions, we ask: “What is the impact when your manager and your company are silent about what is going on in the external world?” The most common response is: “We don’t think they care.” Employees who are impacted, either directly or indirectly, by these events are looking for their companies to say something. Organizations do not operate in a bubble; what happens in the external world has a direct impact on employees, and they talk about it at work whether we like it or not.

Additionally, we are finding that younger generations (Generation Z and millennials) expect organizations to speak out against societal issues. Deloitte’s 2023 Gen Z and Millennial Survey found that the majority of millennials and Gen Zs feel their employers should take a leading role in addressing social issues ranging from inequity to environmental sustainability. In the same survey, they ranked business leaders as third among groups with the most significant role to play in addressing these issues, just after politicians and social justice and sustainability advocates.¹⁷ Therefore, when thinking about recruitment and retention, organizations cannot remain silent toward these issues if they want to attract and keep new talent. However, after the outpouring of organizational support to escalate antiracism initiatives in 2020, by 2023 many organizations had ratcheted back on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. Their voices were not as loud, progress had slowed, and more DEI officers were leaving than were being hired.¹⁸

CEO’s Story Reveals Aha Moment

AT&T’s former CEO, Randall Stephenson, made a public statement at an employee meeting about Black Lives Matter. “Our communities are being destroyed by racial tension and we’re too polite to talk about it,” he said, referring to shootings and protests in Charlotte, North Carolina; Ferguson, Missouri; Baton Rouge, Louisiana; and Dallas, Texas.¹⁹

Stephenson also shared a story of his struggles with understanding the US racial divide. One of Stephenson’s longtime friends, who happens to be African American, provided an aha experience for him. Stephenson said that he learned that his friend’s life as an African American male doctor is fraught with being called negative names, being mistaken for the server in restaurants, and needing to always carry his ID, even in his own neighborhood, because of experiences with law enforcement.

Stephenson told his employees that he was embarrassed that he had known this man for many years, had shared intimate moments, counted him as one of his best friends, and had no idea of his daily struggles as a Black man in America. At the end of his speech, the employees cheered. In that moment, Stephenson made himself vulnerable and passionately articulated the compelling reason for having the courage to dialogue about our differences. The world now knows Stephenson’s stance. The video has garnered hundreds of thousands of YouTube views. In an increasingly competitive hiring market, we think this will boost efforts to attract diverse talent to AT&T.

One Company’s Proactive Approach Leads the Way

In 2020 and 2021, after the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests that ensued around the world, clients hired us to engage in listening sessions to better understand how BIPOC employees were affected by the events and how to support them with co-creating coping strategies. We also included sessions for aspiring allies that included the history of race and racism, and how to be a supportive ally.

For one client, a large nonprofit health care organization, The Winters Group facilitated a total of twenty-seven sessions with employees about the current racial climate. Four of the twenty-seven sessions were facilitated with only Black employees, to center the experiences and feelings of Black people within the organization while also providing a space to process the current climate, co-create coping strategies, and share their perspectives on what a reimagined workforce would look like. Open sessions with a mixed group of employees were held to introduce the history and theoretical underpinnings of racism, making the connection between the past and present day; we also covered how to be an ally.

Throughout the sessions, we gathered a few key themes from both the general and the Black employee–only dialogues regarding the current racial climate and their feelings at work.

General Dialogue: Participants expressed general feelings of sadness and discontent, but also enlightenment and a willingness to learn and educate themselves and others in personal and professional settings. People had a desire to practice allyship and actively participate in making change. They were also appreciative of their organization for offering a learning opportunity to its employees.

Black Employee Dialogue: During these dialogues, people expressed feelings of being judged and/or unsafe in bringing their racial identity to work. Many felt that their capabilities were not acknowledged and that they lacked opportunities for advancement. They desired a long-term commitment from organizational leadership for continued dialogue and education, as well as their participation in strategic decision-making related to the organization’s culture and talent development.

We shared these themes and direct quotations from sessions with the organization’s leadership to assist them with developing a strategic path forward to support their Black employees. Holding psychologically safe spaces for dialogue after polarizing events can help in building the capability for dialogue across difference. Harvard Business Review research found that only 8 percent of HR leaders said they felt their managers were prepared for conversations discussing diversity, equity, and inclusion. However, if managers have attended a listening session, town hall, or company-wide meeting on the topic in the last twelve months, Gallup data shows that managers are more than twice as likely to strongly agree that they’re prepared to have DEI conversations.²⁰

Virtual Learning Labs Provide Tools

A large trade association attended one of The Winters Group’s public virtual sessions on race-based trauma. Following that, the organization hosted a series of what it calls Health Hints to continue to discuss the topic and provide employees with coping strategies and tips on how to be an ally. In conjunction with these efforts, they retained The Winters Group to offer a virtual learning opportunity to further enhance employees’ capabilities in having Bold, Inclusive Conversations around race and trauma. The session explored the current state of race relations and implications for the workplace and provided strategies for engaging in meaningful dialogue around race. The evaluations showed that employees who attended felt better equipped to manage the stressors and to engage in effective dialogue.

ENGAGING IN CONVERSATIONS SENDS THE SIGNAL THAT AN ORGANIZATION CARES

Participants agree that just allowing the opportunity for dialogue is cathartic and sends a message that the organization is sensitive to the impact of these types of events. Most say that they just wanted to share their feelings and hear how others might be coping. However, progressive companies recognize that this initial sharing session is not enough. People may feel better for the moment, but despite heightened awareness, they lack solutions. For effective dialogue to continue, employees need the skills necessary to go deeper in fostering mutual understanding. Skill building takes time, which is why organizations conduct ongoing skill-building training for their employees. Chapters 5 and 6 focus on building and practicing these skills.

You may not be able to precisely account for the loss of productivity caused by the emotional toll of tragic events or immediately gauge the enhanced engagement that may come from employers’ acknowledging the impact, but it can be significant. Taking a proactive approach demonstrates to employees that the company cares and wants to support them. It is critical to develop ways to have meaningful conversations across difference. In the end, it will help to create an environment that allows every employee to feel like they belong.

CHAPTER 1 ♦ TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT IT!

♦ Recognize that whether we approve or not, employees talk about issues like race, religion, politics, and other polarizing topics in the workplace, and many do not have the skills to do so effectively.

♦ Because workplaces have become increasingly diverse with different racial/ethnic groups, religions, sexual orientations, and so on, we will need to pay attention to the needs of different groups in order to engage all employees.

♦ Realize that the tragic events that keep occurring in our world impact different groups in different ways and can negatively influence productivity, engagement, and employees’ sense of safety.

♦ Recognize that employees bring their fears and other emotions into the workplace.

♦ Promote inclusion and provide resources to support employees in addressing their concerns.

♦ Provide tools and resources to develop skills to effectively talk about polarizing topics.

♦ Create psychologically safe spaces for Bold, Inclusive Conversations to occur. This reduces anxiety and increases workers’ sense of well-being, which, in turn, enhances productivity, engagement, and inclusion.