Introduction

FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS I HAVE BEEN A CONTRIBUTOR TO Forbes.com. I write articles about body language—its impact on a leader’s effectiveness in managing change, engaging employees, leading collaboration, negotiating, and communicating with a multicultural workforce. My more popular entries usually receive 10,000 to 20,000 hits.

On April 11, 2012, I posted the blog “12 Ways to Spot a Liar at Work.” Within 10 days the post had been viewed 262,929 times. Clearly, the number of hits showed that this topic struck a chord with my business and leadership audiences.

It also reflected my growing interest in the subject. I had been trained as a therapist and knew how to track, mirror, and analyze nonverbal cues. In my private practice and later as a leadership coach, I became adept at spotting contradiction—noting those places where a client’s words and body language were out of sync. I became a fan of Paul Ekman, the foremost authority in emotions research, nonverbal communication, and the role of microexpressions in lie detection; and most recently Patryk Wezowski, founder of the Center for Body Language in Antwerp, and his program for detecting microexpressions in workplace settings. I followed a variety of other researchers as they reported on the lying behaviors of children, profiled the (sometimes surprising) qualities of convincing liars, and used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machines to track what happens in a person’s brain when telling a lie. In addition, my 25 years as a lecturer in more than 100 companies in 24 countries provided me with real-world knowledge about the impact of deception in the workplace.

I assumed that, given what I already knew, writing a book on this topic would be easy.

I was wrong.

The deeper I delved into the most recent studies on deception from neuroscientists, social psychologists, and university researchers, the more I discovered how little I really knew. I began by thinking that lying in the workplace was an aberration that could be eliminated; instead I found that lying was created by evolution and driven by social necessity—and that we couldn’t operate in a business environment (or any other environment) without some forms of it. I thought that I could divide the workplace into categories—the deceitful “them” and the truthful “us”—but found that there is no such clear-cut distinction. I believed that I was honest with myself, only to discover that no one is. I felt I was a perceptive and objective observer, but I discovered that like everyone else I hold unconscious biases that are pervasive and powerful enough to distort reality.

When I sent out a “deception in the workplace” questionnaire, I received 547 responses that added to my growing knowledge—this time from firsthand accounts—about the negative effects that destructive lies have on individuals, teams, and organizations. I learned that many people work (happily and productively) in organizations with ethical leadership and trustworthy co-workers. But I also learned that a majority does not: 67 percent of respondents said that they have lost confidence in the truthfulness of their senior leaders, 53 percent admitted that they don’t trust their managers, and 51 percent believed that their co-workers regularly lied.

The Truth about Lies in the Workplace describes what I have discovered so far about this nuanced and fascinating topic. The following is a brief overview.

Chapter 1, “Liars at Work,” lays a framework for the book by giving an overview of the (positive and negative) nature, pervasiveness, and consequences of lies at work. Chapter 2, “Deception Detection: 50 Ways to Spot a Liar,” teaches you the signs of increased stress and anxiety that most often accompany deception and explains the verbal and nonverbal cues that are most likely to indicate a falsehood. Chapter 3, “Why We Believe Liars and Play into Their Hands,” explains how our vanities, assumptions, prejudices, rationalizations, and self-deceptions set us up to be duped. Chapter 4, “How to Deal With Liars,” gives practical advice and options for responding when someone lies to or about you. Chapter 5, “Do You Look Like a Liar?,” offers body language tips to help you project your true competence and confidence—and to ensure that feeling anxious, introverted, or shy doesn’t inadvertently signal untrustworthiness. Chapter 6, “Reducing Lies in the Workplace,” includes examples of how leaders at all levels of the organization are reducing destructive lies and encouraging candor.

I think you’ll find this book a real eye-opener. I did, researching it. I’d love to hear about your experience with lies and deception (or with honesty and trust) in your workplace. Please contact me at [email protected] with comments and questions.